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Surviving Cancer after Surviving Cancer

Coping with the Emotional Side of Cancer

Written by: Kevin L. Murphy

Foreward by Bernie S. Siegel, M.D.

Kevin's searing and devastatingly honest story, Surviving Cancer after Surviving Cancer, offers a unique perspective on this all too common phenomenon, when cancer (or any life-threatening illness) erodes the foundation of a once happy, thriving relationship.

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Surviving Cancer after Surviving Cancer



If you have picked up this book, odds are that you, a spouse or a loved one has or recently had cancer. I feel for you. There is no sugar coating it. It stinks. But you have no choice but to deal with it in the best way possible.

If just diagnosed, your doctors and technicians will lay out the plan to attack this monster that has invaded your body or that of your loved one and these dedicated, caring people are most certainly doing God’s work.

They will discuss the treatment, be it surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, seeds, rehab or otherwise. They will let you know the duration of the treatment and the side effects that may come with the hoped-for cure. And to varying degrees, you or your loved one will fight this, because there is no choice. My hope is that you will fight it with everything you’ve got. Not everyone does.

I wrote this book to help you with the emotional aspects to this invisible fiend and what this crisis might do to your everyday life. How it will affect your relationship with your spouse. What might happen at work. The difficulty you may have focusing, sleeping and getting along with others. The financial havoc this disease brings down on families and the fall out that results.

Cancer can and will devour a relationship, unless you are armed with the knowledge to battle that insidious side of the disease. For with this diagnosis comes anger, fear, anxiety, despair and loneliness. All those emotions are normal. But trying to deal with them on your own can lead to depression and destructive behavior.

I hope that someday, cancer victims, cancer couples and cancer families will be given the tools – the professional help – to fight this aspect of a two-front war. But because so few have insurance for psychological help or family counseling, they receive the diagnosis and the plan for the physical attack on the disease, and then are sent to the parking lot, numb and afraid. Most have no idea how to break the news to the family, to colleagues at work and to children. Sleep becomes difficult, or impossible. Your ability to concentrate at work wanes.

And if you are the husband of a wife with cancer, take heed. Learn that she needs far more than a chauffeur to and from the hospital.

This is my story of what happened to my wife and me, from my perspective. I did not handle the emotional side of this disease well at all and I paid a heavy price for it. I made a lot of mistakes you can easily avoid. I hope this story and the lessons you glean from it, will help keep your relationship intact and help you learn how to interact with your loved one during this horrible time.

You can get through this. Your relationship can survive cancer after surviving cancer. If that sounds strange, you will soon understand what I mean.

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